9 posts tagged “kristi”

I have sleepless nights
Ghosts from my past
Haunt the world with delight and
Cloud my mind en mass.

Future demons scratch
And tear and bite and hate
To move past conciousness
To let me dream away

The war of the day's
An infinite movie reel
It will only play without delay.
With nothing to conceal

But tonight's a first
It's a girl on film
A silverscreen curse
Burning me awake, not ill.

She dances above me
And I above her
Her skin is sweet
A touch without words.

A tangles mess of limbs
And body, sweat and hair
We dance and bend
Our moments in bare.

She's my blonde curse tonight
Without a counter spell
I'm not fit to fight
I'm seduced without a soul to tell.

I pray these words ease my mind
For my wars are done,
Demons and ghosts left behind
No ties left undone.

When I should be working on a response paper, I'd rather be moaning on my computer to the semi-faceless audience that reads these posts. Thanks for reading?

I'm not a depressed type of individual. I'm cynical and often pessimistic, but not unhappy.  I'm not easily excited, but I'm usually wearing 3 things: my chucks on my feet, a rubberband on my wrist, and a smile of some sort on my face. Well, only two of the three have been present lately and my chucks and my rubberband haven't gone anywhere. I'm not sure where to pin-point the root of my lack of smiles to, but it isn't all that fun.  I skipped out on one of my best friends' 21st birthday party last night, after he did so much for me on my 21st. I feel kinda shitty, but I really wouldn't have enjoyed it, since I don't know most of his other friends, save maybe 4 or 5. I know my presence wasn't exactly missed seeing that one keg can replace 3.5 people without their absence being noticed. I called him at 7 last night, while I was in the embrace of my blankets, and told him I wasn't going 'cuz my stomach still wasn't feeling 100%. It wasn't, but I would have survived had I gone.

I'm urged to say that this whole Kristi bullshit is playing a hand in this depressing poker game, as well as finals, work, sickness, and a couple of other minor factors... (wow... Alice in Chains just came on the radio... I have to stop for a minute.) but the Kristi situation's holding aces and I'm sitting with a nine and two at the moment. I have to start this ramble by stating that I don't regret anything that I've done or said with her.  I have always been honest and giving, and I thought that it was going both ways. After three weeks of not seeing her and only two or three conversations the entire time -- after talking two or three times a day -- I can't help but feel that I lost something. I haven't said anything rude or offensive... I haven't even talked to her about that whole Texan bit. It just really sucks being left in the dark. I think I can put that on my 'most hated' list. Nothing feels worse than someone knowing something that you don't when it involves you. Especially when it concerns someone that you did have feelings of some sort for.  We went out to dinner in Venice, went to parties at her school, made face at fundraisers for her charity group, held intelligent and interesting conversations, and had some sweet, sweet sex... Things that I assumed would put a pair of individuals beyond the 'fuck buddy' relationship.

This just really sucks... I know I'm not bummed about the sex thing... I can get that anywhere if I really need it, but I'm not as horny, surprisingly, as most men ;) I can get intelligent conversation from any one of my friends... I don't subject myself to morons and I have plenty of 'girlfriends' that I can go out and do things with.  I'm just bummed that this might have to end on a question mark. I don't like leaving a mystery because it keeps me up at night, and the little sleep I do get can't be threatened by something that has the ability to be resolved.

Well thanks for reading, my faceless crowd, and I'm sorry your brain has been polluted with my miserable post, but I appreciate it.

cheers
adam

I have thoroughly enjoyed a shitty week.

It started last sunday with a day dedicated to writing a paper on Poe and his criticisms. That sucked.

Then sunday night I had a really lame mushroom trip... It was like drinking too much coffee. There was no mind trip... I just couldn't fall asleep for a couple of days.

Then two of my coworkers put in their two weeks on tuesday... unfortunately these guys are my work buddies... shit.

I worked Friday and yesterday, the two busiest days since Thanksgiving and all the customers were assholes and a half.

Then yesterday I pinched something in my back... that's always fun.

This entire week, Kristi hasn't returned my calls or texts... which average once a day, if that. You know, I don't really care if she doesn't want to see me anymore, but she still has my pipe and weed. That's all I want back.

Once I got home around one this morning, I went to bed and woke up twenty minutes past the hour, every hour, dry heaving into the pisser. I kept force feeding myself stuff so that I wouldn't be puking out nothing... but I was only dry heaving. I didn't stop gagging on my tongue until around noon and have had a fever of 101 since. Fuck this.

I just reeeeeally hope that  I'm okay by tomorrow cuz I have a 6 page paper I have to start and finish by 4:45.

So this week totally blew... Next week consists of school, work, and house sitting.

cheers
adam

Texans, as of recent, have not been ranking well in my book. Honestly, it is a recent development. It started with Bush and has been continued into this evening:

I get a call from Kristi and of course I'm excited. I haven't talked to her since yesterday and enjoy our conversations. We exchange greetings and then she says, "hey, my friend chris wants to talk to you." I figure, okay, that's cool. The conversation commenced as follows:

Chris- Howdy
Me- Howdy
C- What's yer name?
M- Adam... What's going on, man?
C- Oh nuthin. Jess partyen'
M- Oh, for sure... that's cool.
C- What'd you say? Did ya say fer sher?
M- Yeah
C- What the fuck does that mean?

-- of course... I'm like fanfuckingtastic... I'm dealing with a fucking retard --

M- What? For sure?
C- Yeah. Wuz that mean?
M- Ummm... it's a positive acknowledgment.

-- if I haven't met you in person... yeah... I talk like a dictionary on occasion --

C- What the fuck you talkin like that fer? You gotta get out of California.
M- Why's that?
C- Cuz yer all a bunch uh liberal hippies.

-- I cannot tell you how much restraint it took to tell him to fly his hick ass over here and blow me. --

M- Dude... that's not very cool.
C- Yeah? You gunna sue me?
M- no
C- You wanna fight me then?

-- I haven't experienced such peurility since highschool. --

M- no... can I talk to Kristi?
C- Why dontcha wanna fight me?
M- cuz I have better things to do. Is Kristi there?

-- at this point I stopped paying attention to what he was saying and went to go get a couple beers from the fridge. --

The conversation ended with him saying see ya and my saying for sure. Then he proceeded to hang up.

For all I care, he can go get fucked. What kind of douche bag, son-of-a-bitch gets confrontational the first time they meet someone?

Kristi called me back but I turned off my phone. I was at my close friend Richard's place for the last time before he treks up to Oregon to live with his dad. I don't have time to listen to bull shit like that. If she insists that assholes like that are her friend, I dont need to ruin my last couple hours with my friend on her.

She leaves a very non treatening message calling me a drama queen (non treatening) and apologized for her friends. She said that they aren't too comfortable with her dating a 'California Boy'. WHAT THE FUCK!?

Each and every one of those shits can come and suck my liberal hippie dick. Not one of my friends has showed the slightest hesitation in accepting the fact that I'm seeing a girl from Texas. Are they just bitter that we have a surfable ocean? That our economy is the 4th most aboundant economy in the WORLD behind the states as a whole, China, and Japan? Maybe that the social revolution of the 60's started in San Francisco? Maybe that I can go snowboarding, dirt bike riding in the desert, go surfing, and watch a sunset over the ocean in America's Finest City all within one day and two tanks of gas?

I mean honestly. They need to drop their cute cowboy facade and relalize that they lost the fight for secession and the Alamo.

Fucking smoke a bowl and chill the fuck out!
cheers
adam

Ps... The Alamo comment was harsh... but those infections deserve it.

Texans, as of recent, have not been ranking well in my book. Honestly, it is a recent development. It started with Bush and has been continued into this evening:

I get a call from Kristi and of course I'm excited. I haven't talked to her since yesterday and enjoy our conversations. We exchange greetings and then she says, "hey, my friend chris wants to talk to you." I figure, okay, that's cool. The conversation commenced as follows:

Chris- Howdy
Me- Howdy
C- What's yer name?
M- Adam... What's going on, man?
C- Oh nuthin. Jess partyen'
M- Oh, for sure... that's cool.
C- What'd you say? Did ya say fer sher?
M- Yeah
C- What the fuck does that mean?

-- of course... I'm like fanfuckingtastic... I'm dealing with a fucking retard --

M- What? For sure?
C- Yeah. Wuz that mean?
M- Ummm... it's a positive acknowledgment.

-- if I haven't met you in person... yeah... I talk like a dictionary on occasion --

C- What the fuck you talkin like that fer? You gotta get out of California.
M- Why's that?
C- Cuz yer all a bunch uh liberal hippies.

-- I cannot tell you how much restraint it took to tell him to fly his hick ass over here and blow me. --

M- Dude... that's not very cool.
C- Yeah? You gunna sue me?
M- no
C- You wanna fight me then?

-- I haven't experienced such peurility since highschool. --

M- no... can I talk to Kristi?
C- Why dontcha wanna fight me?
M- cuz I have better things to do. Is Kristi there?

-- at this point I stopped paying attention to what he was saying and went to go get a couple beers from the fridge. --

The conversation ended with him saying see ya and my saying for sure. Then he proceeded to hang up.

For all I care, he can go get fucked. What kind of douche bag, son-of-a-bitch gets confrontational the first time they meet someone?

Kristi called me back but I turned off my phone. I was at my close friend Richard's place for the last time before he treks up to Oregon to live with his dad. I don't have time to listen to bull shit like that. If she insists that assholes like that are her friend, I dont need to ruin my last couple hours with my friend on her.

She leaves a very non threatening message calling me a drama queen (non threatening) and apologized for her friends. She said that they aren't too comfortable with her dating a 'California Boy'. WHAT THE FUCK!?

Each and every one of those shits can come and suck my liberal hippie dick. Not one of my friends has showed the slightest hesitation in accepting the fact that I'm seeing a girl from Texas. Are they just bitter that we have a surfable ocean? That our economy is the 4th most aboundant economy in the WORLD behind the states as a whole, China, and Japan? Maybe that the social revolution of the 60's started in San Francisco? Maybe that I can go snowboarding, dirt bike riding in the desert, go surfing, and watch a sunset over the ocean in America's Finest City all within one day and two tanks of gas?

I mean honestly. They need to drop their cute cowboy facade and relalize that they lost the fight for secession and the Alamo.

Fucking smoke a bowl and chill the fuck out!
cheers
adam

Ps... The Alamo comment was harsh... but those infections deserve it.

I'm looking at my transcript and am rather disappointed. I don't understand a bunch of it, but from what I can see, I hate math and despise science. They just fuck up my GPA. I have to retake my general ed. science class and probably my algebra class... again. (I got a D+) This will be attempt number three for the algebra. I fucking HATE math. To a certain degree, I find it udderly useless. I don't enjoy thinking about concrete ideas. Mathematical theory is interesting... like the theory of infinity. I could talk about that all day because it is interesting. I don't like talking about things that are. I like talking about things and how they could/should/would/would have been. There's more room for discussion and debate.
The 'brain' of a cell is called the nucleus. Ooooh... wow .
If a=b and b=c then a=c. No shit... really?

Things of the abstract are so much more worth my time. They are more personal and interpretive -- inciting growth and development of who I will be. That is way more interesting and entertaining. Anything else just seems so trivial and mundane. Like there's nothing new or refreshing. At least history has been left up to interpretation for the past thousand years (to the victor goes the bragging rights).

Have you ever noticed that math teachers are always rediculously LAME? Except for my 8th grade algebra teacher, Mrs. Hayes... mmmmm... All other teachers blew donkey nuts. Mr. Skinner from my Junior year was an acid freak, which was entertaining in its own light, but couldn't make math interesting if he hired a chimp to dance on his desk along with his lectures. Well... that would be kinda entertaining.

This weekend should be a good one. I'm house sitting the Carlsbad house till Sunday and then I'm leaving for LMU. But Kristi's coming over on Friday anyway,  so that'll be nice :) I've got Sunday and Monday off so I can afford the little LMU trip and take my time. I think that will have to be my last rendevous with anyone anywhere further than San Marcos until finals are all finished. I must limit my travelling to a 30 mile radius of Fallbrook, not including Oceanside or Temecula. I'm never in Temecula anyway, but Oceanside is my home away from home. More home than Fallbrook, but I have a bed in Fallbrook. Max's van is cool 'n all, but bad on my back.

So here's to a couple weeks of solitary confinement.
cheers

P.S. "Man in the Box" sounds so appropriate right now.

Facelift

Alice in Chains

And it was great.

Southern Girl
Is everything a baited hook?      

A Crow Left of the Murder

Incubus

I love it when my parents leave town. It happens once or twice a year and each time is magical. Last year i had a raging party with drugs and alcohol aplenty and a bunch of good friends. It was great. The year before that I had some people over and then Fallbrook's football team thought they'd stop by. Since I have a stong distaste for faggots (not in the homosexual sense, but the derogatory 'i hate football players' sense), I threatened them saying that they'd better leave or some of them are going to wind up in the hospital for trespassing. That initially didn't work until i grapped the pool stick and briskly walked toward the big one brandishing my weapon-- Then they left.

This year was sweet as well. This year I didn't expect anything interesting to happen until my new friend -- the one with nice legs -- called me while i was at work and said she wanted to hang out with me tonight. I said sure, but i work at 11 the next morning so i wont be able to drive out to LA and meet up with her. Apparently that wasn't a problem, she informed me, because she was already in Irvine. Well shit... why not? I gave her directions and met up with her at my house. She's a cool chick. She's got her wits about her and she's fucking cute. It only took an hour before she grabbed my hand and strode to my room and tossed me on my bed. She looked over to my Kurt Cobain poster and noticed my Harry Potter mobile. She laughed and I acted offended... as if she thought Harry Potter weren't cool or something. She then filled me in on the fact that she has a soft spot for nerds and it went from there -- And she's noisy.

But yeah... I called in sick today because a) I'm actually sick... I could work but I'd rather not. b) I wanted to make her breakfast, and c) I slept like shit last night. I don't sleep well with someone in the same bed as me... once i get used to it, it's fine. Then it becomes a problem when I have to sleep alone. That happened when Kelly and I split. I had the hardest fucking time sleeping in my bed alone. We were together during christmas break when I'm housesitting a lot, so it was like we were married. Fun... but kinda strange.

Anyhow... I had fun and apparently she did too.
cheers

I went to Monster Massive last night and it was fanfuckingtabulous. I had so much fun. Max and I got there and rolled over to the sports arena in LA to meet up with a friend of his who brought some more people, so we had a group of about 8 people to keep together in a crowd of about 10,000 ravers at this gigantic rave. Right when we met up with Max's friends, I spotted my goal for the evening. A super cute blonde name kristie with a checkered skirt, pink chucks, and a white tank top.

I saw her and said... "you will be mine" and then she said, "oh, I will be." and then i said, "damn straight."

And that's how it worked. I had fun and made a new friend with nice legs.

The rave ended at 4:30 this morning and we returned to Oceanside around 7. I slept till 4 and now I'm home watching That 70's Show. God, I love this show. Red's character is classic and Hyde is so fucking funny. Anyway... It's a waste  of a Sunday, but well worth it :)

cheers
adam